Bus rides, bathrooms, border crossing, counterfeiters, and the tales that follow

Currently in Tumbes, Peru. Waiting for our bus to leave at 6:30pm. In internet cafe that smells and looks like a dirty bathroom. My stall is blue with chipped paint and grime in the tiles. No photos as no accessible USB port here. Use your imaginations.

After I last left you... not much happened. We did laundry at a local lavanderea (sp) in Cuenca where it was only $4.20 for them to wash and dry and FOLD 2 huge loads of laundry. Totally moving to Cuenca. Later last night, we took the Crespo family to one of the super fancy restaurants in the city. Still, super freaking ass cheap by American standards. $30/person and you can eat like a king with the best wines offered. Most of us ordered the Argentinian steaks. Chicago steaks step aside... heh

This morning´s bus departed from Cuenca, Ecuador to Huaquillas, Ecuador at 5:45am. The lot of us (now excluding Mike) crawled out of bed exhausted before the sun had risen and headed to the bus terminal.

You would think that in an early morning bus ride such as this one, there would be peace and quiet on a bus. But no... instead, it´s loud mariachi music and Spanish hip hop the entire 5 hours from Cuenca to Huaquillas. The three of us take different rows of the bus and attempt sleep--myself to no avail.

Missing sleep, however, did allow me to gather in the gorgeous views from the bus. Cuenca is a city up high in the Andes and Huaquillas is a border town along the coast. Thus, the ride takes you from the mountains´ heights and freezing temps into a sweltering tropical coast of banana plantations and shanty towns as far as the eye can see. I have a few photos but of course, none quite capture the mountains´ true majesty.

Halfway through our bus trip, I really need to pee. Despite drinking next to no water for this very reason, my bladder... well, it seems that my bladder has it in for me, but anyway... On this particular bus, you need to ask the co-operator of the bus to unlock the bathroom for you. I go up, use hand signals and poor Spanish to let him know necessito el baño! He gets up, and we jostle our way back to the bathroom. For some reason, the bus at this particular juncture of the trip is especially bumpy. Inside the tiny little bathroom stall that´s about 1 sq. foot (no kidding), I attempt to hover above the tiniest little toilet hole EVER as the bus is making me crash all over the place. I am quite sure I got pee all over the bathroom, but I didn´t stay in there to examine the extent of my damage. As I exit the bathroom stall, the bus co-operator is sitting outside waiting and laughing at me. Back at my seat, I wet-wipe myself to death. 99.9% of germs killed (we hope)!

Our bus pulls into Huaquillas in the mid-day sun. We´re directed to exit and find our own ways across the border. One particular english-speaking gentleman on the bus is being extra friendly and helpful so we follow him into town.

At this point, it gets pretty confusing as you need to find a rickshaw to take you to the border or walk your way there in order to access the ¨connectivos¨that are officially on Peru´s side of the border. On our way to the connectivos, our friendly guide is informing us that we need Peruvian Soles because Tumbes is a small town and they don´t take USDs. As we follow him, a number of sketchy lookin´guys come out of the street hawking their awesome exchange rates. 325 Soles for $100!!! Eden, a foreign exchange trader, is like finding this awesome bc she last remembers the exchange rate being 298S=$100 or something. We stop to inspect the moneys.

I was almost about to exchange $100 worth but gut instinct told me to keep on moving. Also, the mid day sun was killing me and I just had to get to the shade. I walk off yelling at Eden and Bill to leave... unfortunately, Eden must not have heard me because she exchanged $60 worth.

Sure enough, once on the Peruvian side, it comes to light that her money´s fake. Friendly dude apparently not so friendly for no reason--damned thieves! (Eden really has not had such great luck this trip... haha. She probably has ring worm too but that´s another long story).

Trying to get from the border to Tumbes, Peru was also crazy. We knew from our guide books and from the Crespo family that the 25km ride should cost no more than $5 total for the three of us. As we walk to the connectivos, we are pulled aside into an alley where we are promised connectivos. Again, I´m worrying that we´re going to get jumped by a mob in the alley and start to back away... but Eden spots the cars and for a price of $6, we can get to Tumbes--or so we think. We know the trip should be around $5 and are just relieved they aren´t overcharging by too much. After taking us to immigration, suddenly, the connectivo driver is telling us it will cost $25. The $6 was only to cover the ride to customs. (Which, even though my spanish sucks, is definitely not what was originally agreed upon.) After much arguing in jilted Spanish, I just start to pretend no entiendo! Thankfully, he didn´t drive us into an alley once we arrive in Tumbes to rob us... he drops us off at the bus stop expecting $25. Eden in her angry face gives him $10 and we walk away. He doesn´t complain much. I wonder how many people he fools with the old bait and switch like that.

Anyhow, after all that, we did get our bus tickets to Lima... ¨Royal Class!¨ We should be (if we weren´t ripped off again) having our 18hr bus ride in comfort with fully reclining seats, bingo, movies, and food. Of course, whether or not you should eat the food is another story all together.



NOTE TO TRAVELLERS: If you can, try to catch an international bus that goes straight from Guayaquil to Lima or Machala to Tumbes. Unfortunately for us, neither of these options fit well in our schedule so we just had to wing it and hope for the best. But seriously, if you can avoid crossing the border alone (as in, without the aid of a bus company), do it. It was one stressful, harrowing experience.


Onwards to Lima! (Ignore my Dopplr)