Sweat-Free Summer

Last year at the Pitchfork Music Festival, dedicated hipsters wore skin-tight jeans and layered tops in the 105 degree temperatures. I was exhausted and falling over from heat stroke and there they were, hair shellacked across their foreheads and all. Really? How do they do it? And some nary had a dewy glow! What is the secret, oh hipsters, oh hipsters?

This past weekend of 100 degree temps really had me drenched. Dewy summer glow doesn't look like a dewy glow; no, it looks like the greasy face of a disgruntled thai prostitute. (May those photos never surface).

Think cool thoughts.