Fattest Person in Asia

I am the fattest person in Asia. I've never felt so fat in my entire life! In the States I'm like, you know, healthy and depending on where I am, rather thin. Here I am seriously HOOOOOGE! Sigh.

And being here isn't helping when you're eating this everyday because everyone who works with/for your uncle wants to do some ass-kissing (my pin yin sucks):


"Song Shu Guay Yue" - Squirrel "Guay" Fish; this technique of preparing the fish is called squirrel because, according to mom, it's like a scared squirrel with its fur all up? Maybe the Chinese name for porcupine is also song shu. I have no idea.


Roasted/Fried young chicken (with head).


"Mu Gua dun Xue Ha" - Papaya with Steamed Snow "Ha" (which is something that used to live in the sea before it became food? Maybe? I'm not sure... My mom isn't good at translating - My mom has no idea what she's talking about. It is actually "the reproductive glands of the snow frog, dried, rehydrated and double-boiled with rock sugar, [and it is] a unique culinary invention that was previously only eaten by emperors. The hermaphrodite snow frog's sperm and ova form a glutinous and opaque dessert after cooking. It sounds weird and feels like tapioca in the mouth, but with a slightly salty after taste." Source, Taipei Times). Anyway, reproductive organs or not, this is my favourite sweet-soup. It's also popular with the wimmin-folk as it's supposed to have beautifying qualities. Whatevahs.




So that's like lunch (plus five other dishes). Then you head out on the town to do some shopping and browsing and there are places like this Zhou Hei Ya ("Zhou's Black Duck") where you can get some snacks:


Duck wings, necks, body cavities, and other strange body parts for sale. All totally tossed in the spiciest, tastiest sauce you'll ever have.

Yeah... so like I'm the fattest person in Asia.